


Don't Talk To Strangers On The Internet

by IJustWannaAskSomething



Series: Kiss Me Through The Phone [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Family Problems, Kylux - Freeform, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 05:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7496157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IJustWannaAskSomething/pseuds/IJustWannaAskSomething
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo sights and takes his phone out again, much to his mothers dismay.<br/>"This is hell"  he types "I just want to get out of here."<br/>A few seconds later his phone lights up with the familiar Gen@all on top of the screen. His looks up and his father glares at him before resuming conversation with I-Wish-He-Was-My-Real-Son Finn.<br/>"I’ll call you and say it’s an emergency and you have to come get me" the message reads "put me on speaker I’ll even start crying".</p><p>Needless to say that their very first phone call was very, very weird.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Talk To Strangers On The Internet

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> Critique very much appreciated!  
> Not beta read!  
> I'm not 100% happy with it yet so I plan on looking over it and doing some changes, so please let me know what you think!
> 
> A second part will follow!
> 
> Also the formatting kind of fucked up, but I'm like two semesters deep procrastinating and I have four more finals to go so I wanted to throw this out before I go and digg myself a grave.

If young Kylo had been told that he’d meet the love of his life only because he ignored his parents outdated warning of “Don’t talk to strangers on the internet” he’d probably laughed. Online dating was for losers.

Yet, Kylo AKA _Darth Knight_ and _Gen@all_ met over the internet. In the 21st century that doesn’t sound too exciting, however they never spoke to each other in person or via video chat. They were texting every day for about two years now but neither of them had had the desire to exchange pictures or anything. There was never the opportunity to do something like this. A casual “What do you actually look like?” or “where do you live?” just never seemed right.

Probably because they weren’t dating.

They were friends.

Acquaintances.

They first encountered each other in a forum where they had to start PMing because they were spamming and fighting so much that the actual thread got closed.

One heated debate flowed into another and they moved from topic to topic, always arguing but becoming less and less insulting (some low key offences stayed, but it wouldn’t be the same without it).

After a few month of using the sites personal messaging system they switched to email and eventually to skype what resulted in them talking to each other every free moment they had, not only when they had the time to log into the website, but casually chatting through the day. Waiting in line at the supermarket? Text him. Stuck in traffic on the bus? Text him. Bored out of your mind? Start a fight by insulting him.

Slowly their conversations drifted from strictly technical stuff to more personal things, Kylo once asked him for advice on a Mother’s Day present and _Gen@all_ wanted his opinion on a tie. (That was also the only picture Kylo had of his mysterious internet not boyfriend, but the hand holding the tie next to another didn’t really say much about him).

They talked about everything and nothing, send each other pictures of things they found what could interest the other or just plain insults. Once he got a picture of a super ugly statue from a museum with the captain “I think you look like this” to which he could only respond with “Pretty rich coming from a person with an ugly cat profile picture”. _Gen@all_ then spammed him with messages about the cat, Millicent, and even sent pictures until Kylo admitted, that yes, he was wrong calling her a flea bag and, yes, she was pretty cute.

 

 

 

He didn’t think all of this seemed strange to others until one day, Phasma let the bar of her weights drop so that it startled him out of his work out trance and asked in her usual don’t-fuck-with-me tone: “So, when do we get to meet Mr. Mysterious?”

“What?” He almost dropped his weights, too.

“Oh come on!” Phasma took her towel and wiped the machine she just used down.

“Don’t act so innocent. We all noticed and we all want to know.”

“Well _I_ don’t know!” he snapped back and jumped again, this time by the buzz of his phone strapped to his upper arm.

“Let me guess, it’s him.”

“Who?”

“Your internet boyfriend.”

“I don’t have an internet boyfriend.” Slowly he let go of the handles, no need to make such a noise like Phasma.

“Really? So you just smile like an idiot when you receive a text or get antsy when he doesn’t text you for two hours?”

“Excuse me?” What were his friends thinking? “If you mean me talking to the douche I met in the tech forum then you need to get your eyes checked!” He glared at her and yanked his phone out of the Velcro. He’d told Phasma in more than one rant about the absolute _bigot_ be met in the forum, to which she only responded with: “Just block him, duh.” She didn’t care about proving someone wrong on the internet, she picked her battles in real life.

“So he didn’t just text you?”

“No!” Actually he did. He had since 3 pm when he came back from his horrible, horrible date and hadn’t stopped complaining to Kylo since. It was almost 9 now.

“Sure.” Phasma said in the same tone she used when one of the kids in her outdoor group tried lying to her.

“He is not my boyfriend!” he yelled after her when she left for the treadmill.

 

 

 

Phasma had stopped trying to get to admit him he was dating a mysterious stranger but Kylo still thought about what she said to him. All his friends (and with that all his colleagues, a perk of working your dream job) thought he was dating someone, just because he regularly texted someone.

 _My friends think you are my boyfriend_ he typed a couple of days later when he sat in a window booth of a Subway, nursing his drink, not wanting to go home yet.

He deleted it, typed it again and deleted it again. No. He didn’t want to make things awkward, also their conversation was about a completely different topic (and _Gen@all_ was wrong, as usual). After the rant about the date and some screenshots from dating apps with horrible pick-up lines he was sure that _Gen@all_ was gay or at least bi. That didn’t make him and Kylo a couple, just because they texted everyday. Or did it?

Absent minded he scrolled through the masses of text he received and sent in just three days.

Did he smile every time his phone buzzed? Yes.

Did he look forward to read new messages every morning?  Yes.

But did he fall in love with a stranger? No.

It didn’t work that way, Kylo was sure. You couldn’t fall in love with someone you only knew over text. Fate couldn’t just throw two people into a long distance relationship like that.

 

 

 

His life was going okay except the occasional hints from Phasma to admit he was dating _Gen@all_ or trying to set him up with someone until his mother called.

“Ben!”she said, disturbingly excited (she was never excited talking to him, only annoyed or sad) “Rey is coming to visit us and she’ll stop by you before you two drive  down to us!”

Kylo tried not to groan. He could deal with deadlines or picky customers or the loss of important papers. But family, he could not deal with. Not with “the hope of the Solo family” Rey. Not with the family reunion that was mandatory torture for him.

“That’s great.” He said, clicking his pen and hoping someone would call him into a meeting just so he could hang up.

“She is so excited to spend some time with you! You haven’t seen her in such a long time!”

“Yeah.”

“Ben!” Leia said in that strict tone of hers that held so much disappointment.

 _Please dig me a deep hole_  he later typed. _Deep enough so I can crawl in and die and no one will find me_

 _> >With pleasure _ was the almost immediate response. _Are we friends enough that I have to ask what’s wrong?_

_I hope you choke on your cereal_

_> >I take that as a no_

 

 

 

Rey noticed.

Of course she noticed. Of all things, from his new workout gear to the curtains he bought or the fact that the dishes were done she had to notice him, sending just a few text messages over the day.

“Who are you talking to?” She asked with that bright smile of hers, popping up next to him and trying to look on the screen.

“A friend.” He replied and shut off the screen. He needed to get a passcode or something.

“A _friend_.” She echoed. “That’s why you’re smiling so much.”

He pushed her off and rolled his eyes.

“Oh come on, I think it’s cute! I like your smile!”

_You can never please everyone, either you smile too little or too much, either way someone will comment on it and wants to know whats up._

_> >Maybe it’s just your face_ Gen@all provided helpfully.

 

 

 

Normally the sheer presence of spokesman Poe Dameron would set off all his alarm bells, especially since he was all bright smiles and compliments around little Rey (even worse, little Rey in tight gym clothes), thought today he was glad she was distracted form him for the first time in what felt like days. In contrary to Phasma who dropped the topic of Kylo smiling at his phone like an idiot for no damn reason, she was determined to find out who he was texting.

Now, with her being distracted he could finally read the messages _Gen@all_ had send him over the course of the morning. There was a picture of his cat with a dead mouse, looking proud, then a picture of the dead mouse in a shoe followed by a lengthy complaint about cats and heir hunting instinct.

_You can’t really blame her. If I was stuck with you all day I would probably too start killing things_

He quickly typed this before filling up his bottle and returning to the treadmill.

_> >She is a stray you idiot. Yet she shows up because of her own free will and brings me disgusting present. BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME._

Kylo smirked. He always got defensive about the damn cat.

“You ARE texting him again!” Rey shrieked. How she got from one end of the gym to his side so fast was a mystery. “Or her!” she added with an afterthought and cocked her head like a little bird.

“No I’m not.”

“You _are!_ ”

“Go back to flirt with Dameron and let me work out in peace.”

“Work out to impress your boyfriend?”

“Shut up. I’ve always been shredded.”

“Sure, Ben.”

 

 

 

When they show up at his parents’ house three days later he’s surprised that Rey doesn’t scream “Ben had a secret internet boyfriend!” as soon as they get out of the car.

He’s surprised that she doesn’t even hint anything to Leia, especially since she used the entire car ride to interrogate him since couldn’t escape (thought he had contemplated jumping out of the car or leaving her behind on a gas station).

Family reunions are always awkward, he shakes hands with his father, trying to squeeze each other’s fingers as hard as possible (Kylo got better of the years and it leaves him with a weird satisfaction), and lets his mother hug and kiss him for about a minute until he needs his space again.

Dinner is okay, the food is good and there is beer, yet he misses sitting on the fire escape of his apartment with takeout food or whatever he threw together and talk to _Gen@all_ about his day. Since there is a time skip of a couple of hours between them they never eat at the same time, but it is nice. It is weird, he thinks, sitting here with his family, his mother talking to Rey about school, his father talking to Finn about sports and there he is, with his neatly folded napkin, feeling lonelier than ever.

He’s not sure if it’s the beer that makes him drowsy or the feeling of being caught so he switches to water and hopes it will go by.

It is hard being a good son, he figures after listening in on Hans praise of Finn or Leias doting around Rey. But he answers the occasional questions dutifully, compliments the food, is polite.

 _Gen@all_ would understand his situation, he thinks.

They talked little about family and friends, yet he always seemed to know what to say when Kylo had a frustrating conversation with his father.

The topic at the table shifts to the little trip the four plan in may (what a coincidence Kylo has deadlines around his time so he can’t come) and Kylo is finally at the point where he can’t contribute anything to the conversation. He’s never been there himself so he can’t even recommend anything.

Not wanting to sit there like an outsider he takes out his phone and opens the familiar chat. His mother throws him a look (No phones at the table!), but doesn’t comment. What do they expect him to say? It’s great you go somewhere without me, I’m so happy for you guys, I love hearing about all the awesome things you plan on doing without me.

 _This is hell_  he types _I just want to get out of here._  

A few seconds later his phone lights up with the familiar _Gen@all_ on top of the screen. His looks up and his father glares at him before resuming conversation with I-Wish-He-Was-My-Real-Son Finn about the boat he wants to buy.

 _> >I’ll call you and say it’s an emergency and you have to come get me_ the message reads _put me on speaker I’ll even start crying_

The speed with which _Gen@all_ is replying is amazing.

 _You can’t do that._ Kylo writes back, not sure if he means _Gen@all_ s acting skills or the moral obligation not to lie just so he can get out of there.

_> >It’s up to you, if you’d rather suffer through this…_

 

He wants to write back that his family isn’t as bad as he always portrays it, but then he looks up, seeing his parents talking to other kids than their own offspring. His father planning on teaching Finn how to sail hurts more than he wants to admit. His mother looks over to him from time to time, growing more concerned but still talking to Rey about how great the girl is.

Suddenly, he feels lonely again. Lonely and guilty because you’re not supposed to feel like you’re alone in the circle of your loved ones.

 

 _Maybe I’ll come back to your offer_ He quickly writes before pocketing his phone again.

 

The small read at 22:43 feels like a silent “I know you’ll call” but it’s not as a bad as Hans promise to Finn that he can take his beloved Camaro Firebird out for a ride anytime he wants.

 

 

 

“When did you stop loving me?”  He asks when he’s alone in the kitchen with his parents. They both stay silent and he hopes they haven’t heard him the first time instead of ignoring him.

 

“Was it when I said I didn’t want to take over the shop? Or when I moved so far away?” he prompts, fearing that they ignored him because they didn’t know what to say. Why does he even bother trying to talk about the elephant that’s been in the room for so long that it feels like an actual family member?

 

“Oh, Ben” Leia says, and it’s not a soothing “Oh Ben my dear, we love you no matter what” but a heartbroken and sad one. His father stand there, silent with a dishrag and a plate, looking uncomfortable.

 

“You know, I too, think it’s better if I don’t come to the family reunions. I meant, I see you with them and it’s obvious that I…” he starts babbeling and doesn’t feel so brave anymore. If they continue looking at him like this he will start crying.

It’s silent in the kitchen, Finn and Reys voices from the living room a soft background sound. A happy background sound.

 

“You don’t have to invite me out of pity. That’s actually worse.” He continues. “Just because I’m your son…” _doesn’t mean that you have to love me._ He wants to say.  He wants to scream and cry, but he can’t because Finn and Rey are in the next room and he doesn’t want to ruin another nice evening.

 

“Ben, we…” Leia begins taking a step towards him. Han moves the empty glass casserole away from him, just in case. He knows his son after all, it seems.

 

He can’t do this, Kylo decides and turns away.

 

“I, I just….” He flees, runs up the stairs in his childhood room, panic rising. He doesn’t want to ruin this nice evening. He doesn’t want to run away like a coward.

 

“Ben, darling?” Leia sounds concerned, but she’s still at the foot of the stairs.

 

 _Now_ he texts _Gen@all_ without preamble and throws the phone onto the bed. He paces as he hears his mothers footsteps.

 

His phone starts vibrating and the screen lights up. The sound is off, but Kylo hears the angry buzz against the metal buckle of this duffle bag anyways. For a moment he is like frozen, the bright screen and his mothers approach making him panic even more.

Then, he dives for the phone and answers it.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Listen-“ a voice begins but Kylo interrupts him.

 

“You’re not on speaker, but-“

 

Leia opens the door.

 

“Ben, dear, please come down again.”

 

Kylo turns around, wide eyes, his phone away from his face.

 

“You have to come and get me!” The voice on the other end says dramatically. “Please!” The speaker is still off but Kylo can hear him just fine. Leia looks surprised and he holds up a finger to tell her to hold on.

 

“What do you mean? Did something happen?”

 

“Yes! I know this is not a good time right now---”  


Kylo takes the phone away from his face and puts it on speaker.

 

“---like I know you’re with your family, and I know how important that is, but I just need you here right now.”

 

Leias face becomes a question mark when her son starts to throw the few things he brought for the weekend into his bag.

 

“It’s not a problem. They’ll understand.” Kylo assures, ignoring Leias half-loud “how are you talking to?”.

 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin anything.”

 

“No, it’s fine, it’s an emergency.”

 

Han has apparently decided that they are gone too long without screaming and he comes up the stairs, Rey in tow. What a perfect finale for the staged drama, Kylo thinks.

 

“Tell me what happened, please.” He manages to say in the direction of his phone, totally surprised when Leia hands him his pair of sneakers. She’s buying it and helping him pack. He almost feels guilty.

 

“I-I…” _Gen@all_ studders then _sobs_. He didn’t lie about starting to cry. “I’m on my way to the hospital now, okay, can we, can we talk when you get there?” Kylo almost has to smile when Leia shushes Han and Rey how push into the room.

 

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me over the phone. Are you driving?”

 

“No, I’m on the bus.”

 

“Okay, I don’t want you to get into an accident. I’ll leave now, hang on okay?”

 

He grabs the phone off the bed and takes his bags.

 

“Mom, I’m so sorry…”

 

“I understand, darling, your friend needs you now. Just drive carefully.”

 

Finn looks confused at the surprisingly peaceful parade of Skywalker-Solos down the stairs despite Kylos packed bags.

 

“I’ll call you as soon as I know whats going on, and I try to pick up Rey for her flight, okay?”  


“You just go to your friend!” His mother orders as he kisses her cheek.

 

“Okay  - I’ll, I’ll call you!” He promises, bids a hasty goodbye to his father and wannabe siblings and rushes to the car.

 

His phone lies on the dashboard, call still going when he pulls out of the driveway.

 

“You’re still there?”

 

“Yes, I just got in the car.”

 

“Do you have a Bluetooth thing or are you holding your phone?”

 

“Your concern is touching, but I’m actually screaming at the phone, so yeah.” Not the smartest thing he ever said. Good Job, Kylo. First impressions count.

 

“Well pull over I don’t want you to get into an accident. That would be very awkward to explain to your parents.”

 

Kylo snorts but does so anyways as soon as he feels like there is enough distance between him and his parents.

 

For a minute he sits in silence until he kills the engine. A soft rustling sound come from _Gen@all_ side of the line, then it is quiet.

 

“Whats your real name?”

 

“What was that about?”  They ask at the same time. _Gen@allk_ chuckles and it is a nice sound Kylo decides.

 

“You can call me Hux.”He says. “And I assume that was one of your family reunions you talked about?”

 

“I-“ Kylo breaks up. “I don’t want to talk about that right now.” Despite his parents comfort when he just left in a hurry, the family trip without him, the dinner, the scene in the kitchen still doesn’t sit well with him and he feels like he might cry. The anxiety he felt whilst talking to Hux as if he was in real trouble mixed with the panic of blowing his cover shifts back to the heavy feeling in his stomach and the tightness of his throat when he thinks about his family.

 

“Hux is a weird name.” He finally says.

 

“Says the _Darth Knight_.” It sounds ridiculous with that British accent.

 

“Call me Kylo then.”

 

“Not Ben?” So he heard that part. Huh.

 

“Call me Ben and we’re not friends anymore.”

 

“Alright, alright. I wouldn’t have considered us friends anyways.” He adds like an afterthought trying to get Kylo out of his corner of self-pity.

 

They fall silent again. It is dark outside and Kylo feels like he sits in a small bubble. The world is turning without him, it’s just him and low sounds from whatever Hux is doing right now and he feels more at home than in the house he lived for nineteen years.

A soft sound comes from Hux’ that catches Kylos attention.

 

“Was that Millicent?” He asks and balances the phone on the steering wheel.

 

“Yes. Shes a little upset I’m awake. Me talking disrupts her sleeps, it seems.” His voice is soft and calm as he was trying to sooth the cat, not Kylo. A small meow follows.

 

“Is it late where you are?”

 

“Not too late.”

 

Silence.

 

“I like your voice.” Kylo blurts out, his breath fogging the window. He’s talking away from the phone like he was avoiding a real persons eyes.

 

“Well, thank you.” Hux sounds a little amused.

 

“You know, a lot of my friends think you are my secret boyfriend I keep from them…”

 

He trails off and stares out of the window, trying to hide the warmth in his cheek from Hux. Which is ridiculous, he know, but he does it anyways.

 

“Do they?”

 

“Yeah… they say I smile at the phone like an idiot when we text.” Why is he telling Hux this? It should be embarrassing and awkward but it feels like always, easy and right.

 

“Do you?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Smile like an idiot?”

 

“Maybe.” He says, not even trying to fight the smile off his face.

 

 

 

“We need a cover story for your weekend.” Hux says after a while. Kylo hums in agreement and snuggles deeper into the cardigan he wrestled out of his bag. Hux voice is calming him and he’s sure he’ll fall asleep soon despite the low temperature.

 

“How far away is your city?”

 

“A few hours.”

 

“You’ll need to find a motel. You can’t sleep in the car.”

 

“Or you could just come and get me.” Kylo jokes. The soft laugh feels like a reward. “I would, but I think we live quite apart, I fear.”

 

“Where are you right now?” Suddenly he is awake and alert. Wouldn’t it be funny if they stayed in the same city, passed each other every day without noticing because they were so fixed on their phones?

 

“Dubai.”

 

“You live in Dubai?” Wow. His mental image transforms _Gen@all_ into a sheik sitting on expensive pillows. Maybe Millicent isn’t a cat but a lion or whatever exotic animal rich people have.

 

“Business trip. I’m from England.”

 

“You take your _cat_ on a business trip?” That is insane.

 

“I’m an important person.”

 

“How important? Like, Prince Harry important?”

Hux snorts.  “Close.”

 

“You are a prince close or you are a ginger close?” Kylos tone is playful, talking to Hux is like texting him but 200% better because he has a really nice voice.

 

“The latter.”

 

Now Kylo snorts, already thinking of a hundred ways to use this as an insult, and they slip into comfortable silence like a well-fitting sweater.

 

It feels weird, knowing Hux for such a long time but _not knowing_ him at all and yet this moment feels so perfect.

 

 

 

Their cover up story is simple and his family buys it. He met Hux at the hospital of his city, Hux having a family tragedy and he then flew back home, but is very sorry not to have met Kylos parents. Their background is explained easily; they met when Hux came to the states visiting said now deceased relative.

 

 _I actually feel bad that we told them a family member of yours died. My mother was really concerned about you._ They went back to texting immediately, though Kylo is playing with the thought of sending voice messages because they are quicker. But sending voice messages while working out is weird, too.

 

_> >We made a person up and then decided to let that person die. It has something poetic. _

_Your sense of poeticness worries me…_

_> >That’s not even a real word_

_The point still stands_

_> >Then see it like this, it’ll make a great story to tell your grandkids_

_Sure. “yea, kids, when I was like 28 me and my boyfriend made up an imaginary family member who died so I could get away from a family party” sounds impressive. I see myself as a great role model_

It takes Hux longer than usual to reply, what makes him anxious. Doesn’t he know what to say because kylo called him his boyfriend or is he just wrestling with Millicent for the blanket? Chewing on his lip he waits for Hux to start typing again.

 

_> >You have to make it sound more romantic. Tell it like a movie flashback and they’ll admire you._

_I honestly think with that parenting style you should not raise kids. For public safety._

_> >Which is why I have a cat_

_I thought you had a cat because you are sad, single and lonely_

Again he types before he thinks and prays Hux isn’t offended.

 

_> >That only applies to woman. As a man it makes me artistic and sensible._

Kylo grins.

 

_> >Also, two messages ago you called me your boyfriend, so that rules out single on your list of pathetic insults based on superficial aspects of my life._

Kylo stops grinning.

 

 _Well, I’m sorry darling, of course you have a cat because you are sad and lonely. Not single at all._ Feeling risky he adds a cheesy kissy smiley to the text.

 

_> >I can’t argue with that_

_> >I have to go to work._

_> >Talk to you later_

_Don’t miss me too much_ He can’t help but grin and adds another emoticon, a pink heart (It’s not as serious as a red heart, he thinks, less commitment and more playful so he can pass it off as a joke if he needs to).

 

_> >I’ll try_

“I knew you were the type to send sweet smileys!” Phasmas voice booms right behind him and he flinches so hard that he drops his phone. It makes an awful sound when it hits the glass table.

 

“Phasma, what the fuck?!”

 

“Like you’d let me read your secret boyfriend messages.”

 

“That doesn’t justify stalking!”

 

“It’s not stalking, it’s researching, Kylo.” She sights. “Anyways, lunch?”

 

“Lunch.”

 

 

 

They sit in a cramped little café that makes amazing cakes (because they are adults, they can have can for lunch, duh) and Phasma uses the cake she just bought him to guilt trip him into telling him about Hux.

 

“So, what’s he like?”

 

“Who?”

 

“Your boyfriend.” She rolls her eyes.

 

“Oh, well, he’s a smartass. Has a cat. Doctor Title in something I don’t remember.”

 

“And what’s he like…” She drops her voice and smirks a little.

 

“Phasma!” He can’t help but blush like a little school girl.

 

“What? I’m your friend, of course I want to know what your sex life is like!”

 

“Maybe don’t ask this like two seconds into our conversation?”

 

“Stop being so prudish!”

 

He eats more cake so he can’t talk. When his phone buzzes, Phasma grabs it so fast, he’s sure there are action lines.

 

“What the fuck, Phasma!”

 

“It’s him! Hux. Huh. Strange name.”

 

Kylo really regrets not having a passcode.

 

“What does Kylos boyfriend write? Oh, he send a picture!” She has that dangerous smile again. Right now, he is glad that they are not in a real relationship, because Hux probably send him a picture of his cat or something, not actual nudes. “Oh my goodness, that is so sweet!”

 

Immediately he’s alarmed. He never heard Phasma call something sweet in a positive way.

 

“What?”

 

She shows him his phone. It’s a picture of a box being held by (Hux’?) hand with the caption “Do you want this?”.

 

“Oh my god.” He’s pretty sure his heart just skipped a beat. That is one of the things he really considers missing in his life. It’s the original model of his favourite characters spaceship form his favourite movie franchise. He’s been looking everywhere for the rare toy. It doesn’t have high collectors value, but it has emotional value to Kylo. For a second he thinks he can’t breathe. He remembers the hours he admired the box in toy store as a kid, picturing himself building the little ship and painting it in his colours (mostly back, but still), becoming the hero of the franchise.

 

“I take it as a yes.” Phasma pulls the phone back and starts typing. “He seems like a keeper.”

 

“What are you doing?” The joy he just felt dissolves in dread. “You can’t text him!”  


“Yes I can. I’ll let him know he’ll be properly rewarded for his dangerous quest of bringing princess Kylo her favourite toy back.”

 

“Please don’t do this.” He begs. “We… we don’t do this.”

 

Phasma looks up for a second and smirks. “Well then you should start. Believe me, adding a little teasing over the phone does wonders to you sex life.”

 

“Too much information!”

 

“I also asked him for a picture. How are you dating for so long and never send each other pictures?”

 

“As I said, we don’t do that.” He mumbles into his cup. He’s not even lying. Then he redoes the bun at the base of his head, rearranges their plates. “Please give me my phone back.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t want you to bother him.”

 

“Bother him? Kylo, are you in that kind of relationship? You know, emotional abuse is abuse, too. If you think that a little fun _bothers_ him-“

 

“Phasma, it’s not like that. He’s just really busy and I don’t want him wondering what is going on. Speaking of which, we, too, have deadlines. Let’s get back, ok?”

 

His colleague and friend doesn’t look convinced but she passes him the phone.

 

“Show me the picture when he sends it.” It sounds like a threat.

 

 

 

Back at the office he make a detour to the restroom and sends a quick voice message to Hux (because his fingers are too shaky to type) and explains the last messages are from Phasma, which are (thank goodness) still unread. On an afterthought, he presses the record button again and thanks him for the spaceship, that he very much liked to have it and will of course pay him back.

 

His phone buzzes one and a half long hours later with a

 

 _> >It’ll be your anniversary present _ with a winky smily.

 

He’s a little stunned at that and when he stars typing another thank you and that that isn’t necessary because the ship surely is expensive a second message pops up, a picture, with the caption: _For you nosey friend_

A little anxious he opens it, prepared to see Hux for the first time in his life, but it’s a picture of his fucking cat. He falls back into the chair and laughs, somehow relieved and disappointed.

 

The picture is obviously taken like a selfie, just that the camera is aimed lower, at his chest, in front of which he holds his ginger cat. He’s holding her with one arm like a baby, what she doesn’t seem to like very much because she is staring up where Hux face is cut off with obvious thoughts of murder. He is pale, Kylo can tell from the little bit of skin showing where the selfie ends.

 

He’s about the get up and show it to Phasma who’ll make a comment like “At least he’s not a fat, hairy and unshowered dude who lives in his parents’ basement.” When a third message comes in, another picture.

 

 _> >And this one is for you_  it reads.

Kylo swallows heavily, sits back down and opens the picture.

 

 

 

 

When Han talks about how he met Leia, Kylo always thought it was overdramatic and cheesy (“She just took my breath away and not because she punched me in the gut!”), but damn. His father was right.

He stares at Hux’ picture like an idiot, not blinking and trying to burn it into his brain. This can’t be real.

 

Hux is… a ginger, he did say that, but comparing him to Prince Harry is an insult to Hux. Kylos brain is currently not functioning, processing everything and nothing at the same time. He’s ripped from his mental lag when the screen goes dark, what leads him to violently tapping it.

Making a mental note to ask Hux if he’s a model he leans back in his chair. Hux is cute and hot at the same time. Like. He looks so young but incredibly mature. And then there’s the eyes. Kylos brain shuts off again. The way he stares at the camera is like he is staring right into Kylo, but not in an uncomfortable way. Just really intimate. He can’t look away. Also: the colour. He’s pretty sure those are contacts, no one has such intense eye colours, that’s just not fair. Also: two eyecolours. How awesome is that?

Heterochromia, his brain provides helpfully.

The picture was obviously taken just a few seconds after the last one because he is wearing the same black shirt and Millicent is still there, too, looking way more comfortable the way she is held now. Her little head is pressed into Hux neck and oh boy, Kylo never thought he would be jealous of a fucking cat.

 

It takes him several tries to form a coherent sentence, though it’s not a masterpiece but to his defence: what do you tell someone who became your boyfriend overnight and turned out to be one of the hottest people on planet earth?

 

_Are you a model?_

 

_> >No why?_

_But you look like one_

_> >Sure._

_No, for real._

_> >yea yea. Now you owe me a picture to prove you’re not a creepy sixty year old._

_Sure_

He goes through the pictures he has on his phone, but first impressions count and he doesn’t want to send one from the gym. A part of him is ashamed that almost all his selfies are him flexing his abs or biceps in the mirror, but he also can’t run to the bathroom and take selfies like a basic bitch at the club.

 

_Tomorrow_

 

_> >Need to photoshop something together?_

_Yea, I was going to use Prince Harry pictures but two gingers would be weird_

_> >…_

_I need to get back to work. Thank you so much for the model!_

_I mean the spaceship_

_> >Don’t mention it._

 

 

 

He shows Phasma the cat picture and she doesn’t make a comment about the cat, but rather the fact that he could be anyone and that doesn’t prove his identity as Kylos boyfriend. Like Kylo would just take some ones Instagram pictures to shut her up.

For a second he contemplates showing her the second picture but decides against it. Hus had said: This one is for you, not: Show this one around. It feels oddly intimate and it makes his stomach twist is a nice way.

 

On his way home he keeps on staring at the picture and wonders what Hux looks like as a person. Is he shorter than Kylo? Probably since he himself is quite tall. He’s probably slimmer than Kylo, too. A ginger (obviously). Also he went with Kylo calling him his boyfriend (though that was days ago).

Are they boyfriends?

They texted for two years, not dated for two years.

 

And know much about each other but not so much. A week ago they still didn’t know each others first names.

 

 _Yes, grandchildren, I called my boyfriend_ Gen@all _for two years because I didn’t know his first name._

He’s so messed up, Kylo thinks and stares out of the buses window at a group of teenagers. They probably worry about passing their finals or some other shit, not if they are suddenly in a long distance relationship. Life sucked at sixteen because of puberty but it also seemed so much simpler. Also, he feels kind of sorry for his potential future grandkids and their fucked up grandfather. Not that this is a common occurrence in his family.

 

 

 

At home he showers and eats some leftover take out before going back to the bathroom. It has the best selfie light in his apartment and since Rey isn’t here anymore he can walk around in a towel as much as he wants to.

 

Standing in front of the mirror, finding a pose that doesn’t scream “I tried too hard” is difficult.

Should he shave? Leaning forward he smooths his hand across the stubble.

It’s ridiculous, it’s 7pm, no one does that.

Plus, he’ll look like a baby. At least Phasma said that to him, he looks like one when he’s shaved. Also she tries touching his face constantly cooing “your skin is so _nice_ ” without being high or drunk and that is really disturbing.

 

Casual selfies are _hard_ he decides after ten minutes and so close to giving up. When he takes pictures of himself it’s to show off. That’s it. No snapchat flower crown filters, no cute “oooh today I feel so nice” or anything. Show abs or go home.

 

He never felt so desperate before and deletes what feels like 200 pictures of looking casual but also looking not like an abomination of mankind.

 

In the end he manages to take a decent picture when he’s sitting in bed, trying to read but unable to focus because of his uncompleted task of taking a good selfie. It looks better in just black and white, he thinks, but an edited picture would be weird, like a model portfolio or something, though he is sure Hux did something with the lightning because his hair has this impossible colour and _his eyes…_

He stares at the picture of Hux until his eyes burn and he’s so tried he can’t even plug his phone into the charger.

Kylo sleeps very well thought.

 

 

 

The next day is a complete disaster.

He is late for work because his phone died, he almost misses a meeting and can’t find the contract he was supposed to sign three weeks ago.

On the verge of freaking out Phasma brings him some of the hipster tea she usually drinks from her chrome mug, and Phasma giving him her favourite mug means that he must look horrible.

 

When the stress, phone calls and stacks of paper folding his desk finally die down it’s 8pm and he realises that he hasn’t spoken to Hux all day.

Hux, who should have seen his picture by now and either swooned or died from second hand embarrassment. Taking a long sip from the water bottle he reaches for his now fully charged phone and swipes away the missed calls from the morning away.

Seven unread messages.

Three from Hux.

 

A little nervous he texts back his mother first, then opens the chat.

 

_> >Nice._

_> >Well. Didn’t expect you to be dark haired to be honest. You sound more like a brunette._

_> >Not that that’s a bad thing, obviously. Also, I’m drunk._

Kylo smiles to himself and types a reply. He’s relieved the picture was well received. Hux sent this a few hours ago so he is very surprised to get an almost immediate response.

Must be a long night, Kylo figures.

 

 _> >You think I can’t drown this? _A shaky image of a pint pops up.

 

_I’m pretty sure you can, I believe you_

_> >Too bad I just did. _The picture of an almost empty pint follows.

 

Kylo is mildly impressed but also finds this adorable.

 

_Where are you?_

A voice message follows. While it loads Kylo looks around the empty office, his desk lamp bathing him in a warm light. He finds it soothing.

 

_> >We’re at –where are we right now? Ponies what? Ooooh Pauls Club. Yes. We are at Pauls Club. Who is Paul-_

The message breaks off at this point. Hux is hard to understand over the background noise of a club but it’s obvious he’s smashed.

 

_> >I don’t even know who Paul is_

_> >I want to go home the music is trash_

The following audio message not understandable at all, just a lot of noise and voices.

 

_Are you there with your friends?_

A weird kind of concern washes over him, he doesn’t even know what country Hux is in, yet he worries that he gets home safe.

 

_> >Friends. Colleauges _

_> >Colleges_

_> >Clooeauges_

_> >Whatever. No need to be jealous_

_> >Kylo_

_Okay_

_> >Are you jealous?_

_> >Kylo jealous. That rhymes. Like Kylie Jenner_

_> >Kylo Jenner haha_

_> >The hair fits the family_

_Please don’t call me Kylo Jenner._

_> >Whatever Matt_

_Who is Matt?_

_> >I said no need to be jealous, oh my gooood, stop being so jealous_

_Will you get home safe?_

_> >Yes. No need to be concerned_

_Good._

_> >You want to see my friends?_

_Of course_

A shaky group picture follows. Five people at a bar, bottles of liquor in the background. They all look very happy and drunk. Hux wears a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and they all hold cocktail glasses with way too many little umbrellas in them.

Hux’ smile is catching. Kylo sits like an idiot in his office chair, long after his shift is over and grins at the screen lice a maniac.

 

_> >We have to met soon_

_> >meet*_

_> >I have to introduce myself to your parents and apologize for stealing their son_

_> >No regrets tho_

_> >#worth it_

_Please go to bed, you are drunk_

_> >Drunk in love_

An audio message with the unmistakable beat of “Single Ladies” as well as a lot of people singing along follows.

Kylo smiles.


End file.
